Here are the contacts I used and found to be incredibly helpful. Several of them you will need to be referred to after seeing a 'regular' LC as they are specialists, but they are worth it.
UW LC's: I found them helpful, but really only helpful for minor problems, they didn't have the skills necessary to help us, but they were wonderfully patient with me and referred me to Childrens as they knew my needs were to great for them to handle. I especially loved Kara, she also happened to be my nurse in the post-partem wing. She was very gentle and helpful with us.
Birth & Beyond: It was nice for once to have the LC's come to us instead of us going to them. Of course Henry was on a BF'ing strike (sigh) so they really couldn't help us much. Same as the UW LC's, for regular BF'ing issues they'd probably be wonderful, but our needs were just too great. I also attended a BF'ing support group (same thing, our needs were too great for them to help) but it was so wonderful to meet other BF'ing mamas and hear their stories.
Childrens PT/OT: This is where I met Robin Glass. She is one of the world's best when it comes to diagnosing tongue ties and helping mom's overcome significant breastfeeding hurdles. The second I have any problems BF'ing in the future I will be getting a referral to her ASAP.
Wedgwood Center for Natural Medicine: Robin Glass referred me to Dr. Maryann O'Hara who is a leading tongue tie expert in the region. She is a very gentle and easy going doctor, one who I'd definitely recommend to other mothers. I love that she has a different approach to getting babies to latch, instead of guiding the baby to the breast, she lets the baby find the way to the breast. I will use what I learned from her with any future children I have. You also need a referral to see her from an LC.
Dr. Stephen Cavanaugh (Osteopathic Physician) treated Henry for his physical limitation/condition (he couldn't turn his head to the left, he had severe spinal restrictions affecting movement etc). We noticed an immediate improvement in Henry's range of motion, his reflux and his gag reflex. We still follow up with him on occassion. What I like about him (vs. a different Chiropractor we'd seen) is that he is realistic in his approach to treatment and isn't in it to make as much as he can. The Chiro had wanted to see Henry 2-3 times a week for 6 weeks BEFORE she'd be able to tell us if she could help Henry out. Dr. Cavanaugh saw us 1 time a week for 4 weeks and now we follow up once every 2 - 4 months. We noticed immediate relief/improvement with Dr. Cavanaugh (and none with the Chiro).
These are all the people I found very helpful in our breastfeeding journey. All people I would go to again, and all people I would recommend to anybody else experiencing breastfeeding problems.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
One last hurrah.
The week or two before our trip to Pennsylvania for Christmas I call up my doula from Henrys birth, Kate. The majority of the time we'd had luck getting Henry to latch it was with Kate there guiding us. To this point I'd say I'd only had two succussful breastfeeding attempts/latches in 3 1/2 months. She arrived and we started trying to get Henry to latch. We knew we were in for a fight. We had luck after only about 20-30 min of trying to get him to latch. Yeah, I had to use a shield, but he was on, it didn't hurt, and he seemed happy with it. Score 1!
It was pretty wonderful to be able to feel what a good latch and breastfeeding experience felt like. Took a bit for us to get there, but it was worth it. The next feeding was in the morning as Henry slept through the night. Not hardly any struggle at all. And I know he got some milk because he vomited it up all over me... Nice. However I discovered that trying to breastfeed while my breasts were full and engorged was much easier for both of us than every other time during the day when I wasn't as full. The next morning pretty much the same thing, he latched, but didn't stay on nearly as long as the previous day. He was done with this 'novelty' way of feeding. He wanted his bottle back.
After having another emotional melt down Jay and I talked and decided that it was in my best interest, and thus Henry's best interest if I accept that he could not successfully breastfeed. I spent nearly 4 months trying to breastfeed, crying over failed attempts, going to dozens upon dozens of various Dr. appointments with Henry. I needed to take a break and just enjoy him. I set a goal of pumping until I started work up in a couple weeks then to see from there how I felt. Before I even got to work I decided to go until Henry was 6 mo's old. Valentine's Day. Then re-evaluate if I wanted to continue pumping or not.
As we approached V-Day I thought, hey, I think I can go until Henry's 1st birthday. Then, after I had decided to do that my supply crashed. I knew I couldn't do traditional supplements (fenugreek/goats rue) as Henry reacted badly to those supplements, mother's milk tea didn't help, and I had already maxed out on Domperidone (Rx used to increase lactation). I struggled coming to terms with not making enough each day for him and what to do. Thaw out some of my hard earned freezer stash or start supplementing with formula to spread out how long he has breastmilk in his diet. After another emotional breakdown and a long talk with Jay we decided to introduce formula, wean off pumping and just do 2-3 bottles of breastmilk a day.
I honestly think my body was ready to be done. The next day I went from 5 pumping sessions to 4 sessions. I got about 5 oz less than normal. The next day was 3 pumping sessions, I got half of 'normal'. I used to make a little over an ounce an hour (27-30 oz a day). Today, I'm making less than half an ounce/hour. Today is day 3 of weaning off pumping and I'm not even engorged or full. I've only pumped one time and will pump once more before bed. We'll see what I get tomorrow morning. But I think I will go to work w/o my pump for the first time since I went back to work 2 1/2 months ago. It'll be nice to have my body back, but I still wish I could be breastfeeding. I wish I didn't have to deal with bottles and cleaning pump supplies (although the latter I won't be dealing with much longer). I wish I could have that bonding time of looking down at him while he eats from me. That's probably why I grudgingly let others feed him, is that time was supposed to be mine (according to my plan) and I don't like giving up on my plans.
I have several hundred ounces frozen, enough to probably give him 2 bottles of BM a day for several months. So that makes me happy. He doesn't seem to care that he is now getting formula. He has no preference. So it's on to the next stage for us.
Things I have learned:
1. Plans are good, but don't plan on it going 100% to plan. Be flexible.
2. Don't do something that makes you miserable. I don't think I will try this hard again in the future if/when we have a second child.
3. It does no good to be so hard on myself. All I did was make myself miserable and stressed.
4. Regrets - they suck. I wish I had that time back so I could enjoy Henry more instead of being so stressed out.
5. Have breastfeeding support appointments set up in advance, even if you don't have problems, no harm can come from having someone give you a helping hand.
6. If I'm going to attempt breastfeeding in the future - NO bottles of any kind unless medically necessary. I think this is part of where I went wrong.
7. Forgive myself.
It was pretty wonderful to be able to feel what a good latch and breastfeeding experience felt like. Took a bit for us to get there, but it was worth it. The next feeding was in the morning as Henry slept through the night. Not hardly any struggle at all. And I know he got some milk because he vomited it up all over me... Nice. However I discovered that trying to breastfeed while my breasts were full and engorged was much easier for both of us than every other time during the day when I wasn't as full. The next morning pretty much the same thing, he latched, but didn't stay on nearly as long as the previous day. He was done with this 'novelty' way of feeding. He wanted his bottle back.
After having another emotional melt down Jay and I talked and decided that it was in my best interest, and thus Henry's best interest if I accept that he could not successfully breastfeed. I spent nearly 4 months trying to breastfeed, crying over failed attempts, going to dozens upon dozens of various Dr. appointments with Henry. I needed to take a break and just enjoy him. I set a goal of pumping until I started work up in a couple weeks then to see from there how I felt. Before I even got to work I decided to go until Henry was 6 mo's old. Valentine's Day. Then re-evaluate if I wanted to continue pumping or not.
As we approached V-Day I thought, hey, I think I can go until Henry's 1st birthday. Then, after I had decided to do that my supply crashed. I knew I couldn't do traditional supplements (fenugreek/goats rue) as Henry reacted badly to those supplements, mother's milk tea didn't help, and I had already maxed out on Domperidone (Rx used to increase lactation). I struggled coming to terms with not making enough each day for him and what to do. Thaw out some of my hard earned freezer stash or start supplementing with formula to spread out how long he has breastmilk in his diet. After another emotional breakdown and a long talk with Jay we decided to introduce formula, wean off pumping and just do 2-3 bottles of breastmilk a day.
I honestly think my body was ready to be done. The next day I went from 5 pumping sessions to 4 sessions. I got about 5 oz less than normal. The next day was 3 pumping sessions, I got half of 'normal'. I used to make a little over an ounce an hour (27-30 oz a day). Today, I'm making less than half an ounce/hour. Today is day 3 of weaning off pumping and I'm not even engorged or full. I've only pumped one time and will pump once more before bed. We'll see what I get tomorrow morning. But I think I will go to work w/o my pump for the first time since I went back to work 2 1/2 months ago. It'll be nice to have my body back, but I still wish I could be breastfeeding. I wish I didn't have to deal with bottles and cleaning pump supplies (although the latter I won't be dealing with much longer). I wish I could have that bonding time of looking down at him while he eats from me. That's probably why I grudgingly let others feed him, is that time was supposed to be mine (according to my plan) and I don't like giving up on my plans.
I have several hundred ounces frozen, enough to probably give him 2 bottles of BM a day for several months. So that makes me happy. He doesn't seem to care that he is now getting formula. He has no preference. So it's on to the next stage for us.
Things I have learned:
1. Plans are good, but don't plan on it going 100% to plan. Be flexible.
2. Don't do something that makes you miserable. I don't think I will try this hard again in the future if/when we have a second child.
3. It does no good to be so hard on myself. All I did was make myself miserable and stressed.
4. Regrets - they suck. I wish I had that time back so I could enjoy Henry more instead of being so stressed out.
5. Have breastfeeding support appointments set up in advance, even if you don't have problems, no harm can come from having someone give you a helping hand.
6. If I'm going to attempt breastfeeding in the future - NO bottles of any kind unless medically necessary. I think this is part of where I went wrong.
7. Forgive myself.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Things not to say to a breastfeeding mama
Taking a little detour from writing about Henry and my struggles with breastfeeding to add my thoughts on this (sadly still) taboo subject.
There are still a lot of people who think that breastfeeding is 'gross', some go so far to call it sexual abuse (yes - there are people who call CPS for the sole purpose b/c you are breastfeeding and they think it's wrong). Or people who think it is selfish for the mom to 'hog' all that time bonding with the baby and that others should get a chance to feed him.
So I'm going to discuss a little bit of this. I know with the group of people I'm sending this to that I'm mostly preaching to the choir. But I need to get some of this off my chest. Some of what I'm talking about I've experienced first hand, some is what I've heard from my friends and their experiences.
Disclaimer: I have nothing against formula feeding - I just want to make that very clear. Each parent needs to make the decision on what is best for them and their baby. I chose to try to breastfeed. But without formula (when my son was loosing too much weight) Henry would be dead. So I am a fan of formula - it is there for a reason, and is a good substitute for breastmilk.
1: Breastfeeding (abbreviated from now on as BF'ing) is not gross, disgusting, shameful, embarrassing or 'wrong'. It is natural, the way god and nature intended. It is what is best for any baby, it has more nutrients than formula. In fact, not all the 'ingredients' of breast milk have even been discovered yet!!! There are THAT many good things in it. It is more easily digested than formula, and easier on the baby's sensitive and still open/maturing gut. To try to make a BF'ing mama feel bad about her decision is wrong. Same as it is wrong to guilt a formula feeding mama about her decision to formula feed. It is the parents decision and nobody elses. A mama is NOT hogging her baby if she is trying to BF.
2: Nestle is evil for their attack on BF'ing. They put so so SO many lies out during their campaign in order to gain sales that as a country we lost so much knowledge about BF'ing, it's really quite sad. As a country we are just re-gaining some of this knowledge. Baby's are MADE to 'starve' when they are born. All of them (formula or BF) will end up dehydrated to some degree right after birth, that is NORMAL. So to spew these falsehoods to a mama who wants to BF is shameful. She will not starve her baby, she will not dehydrate her baby, the baby WILL get enough iron from breastmilk (interesting side note - yes, formula has more iron in it than breastmilk. But that's because it HAS to, the iron in breastmilk is SO easily digested that the baby simply does not need more, even if it's jaundiced. That's why formula fed babies can end up so constipated - there's simply so much iron that cannot be digested). It's the lies that Nestle spewed forth into the media I have a problem with, not formula itself.
3: To tell a mama who is struggling with BF'ing that "I'm not judging you - I simply don't understand why you are trying so hard. Why? No really, explain to me, Why?" in a tone that clearly implies that you have formed an opinion on said mama and you aren't really looking for an answer/response. Seriously. Why go there? To make the mama feel bad? A BF'ing (or formal feeding) mama is not required to explain or defend her decision at all, ever, to anyone at anytime. So inappropriate and condescending.
4: Please, if a mama is trying to BF, be supportive. Don't be condescending, rude. Don't imply what she's doing is wrong in any way shape or form. It's not your decision. You have zero say in the matter.
I have a friend who's extended family called CPS on her because of her decision to do extended BF'ing (basically continue to BF until the child weans themselves past one year). They told CPS that she was starving her baby and that he was very ill (he wasn't and still isn't ill, he had a head cold over christmas but that's it). I can't begin to explain how horribly wrong it was to do that to this (or any) mother. Unfortunately this is not the only time I've heard stories like this. The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends exclusively BF'ing for at least 6 months, that means no solids until 6 mo's or ideally later. They then go on to say that going to two years is optimal. From the WHO website:
Over the past decades, evidence for the health advantages of breastfeeding and recommendations for practice have continued to increase. WHO can now say with full confidence that breastfeeding reduces child mortality and has health benefits that extend into adulthood. On a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life is the recommended way of feeding infants, followed by continued breastfeeding with appropriate complementary foods for up to two years or beyond.
There are still a lot of people who think that breastfeeding is 'gross', some go so far to call it sexual abuse (yes - there are people who call CPS for the sole purpose b/c you are breastfeeding and they think it's wrong). Or people who think it is selfish for the mom to 'hog' all that time bonding with the baby and that others should get a chance to feed him.
So I'm going to discuss a little bit of this. I know with the group of people I'm sending this to that I'm mostly preaching to the choir. But I need to get some of this off my chest. Some of what I'm talking about I've experienced first hand, some is what I've heard from my friends and their experiences.
Disclaimer: I have nothing against formula feeding - I just want to make that very clear. Each parent needs to make the decision on what is best for them and their baby. I chose to try to breastfeed. But without formula (when my son was loosing too much weight) Henry would be dead. So I am a fan of formula - it is there for a reason, and is a good substitute for breastmilk.
1: Breastfeeding (abbreviated from now on as BF'ing) is not gross, disgusting, shameful, embarrassing or 'wrong'. It is natural, the way god and nature intended. It is what is best for any baby, it has more nutrients than formula. In fact, not all the 'ingredients' of breast milk have even been discovered yet!!! There are THAT many good things in it. It is more easily digested than formula, and easier on the baby's sensitive and still open/maturing gut. To try to make a BF'ing mama feel bad about her decision is wrong. Same as it is wrong to guilt a formula feeding mama about her decision to formula feed. It is the parents decision and nobody elses. A mama is NOT hogging her baby if she is trying to BF.
2: Nestle is evil for their attack on BF'ing. They put so so SO many lies out during their campaign in order to gain sales that as a country we lost so much knowledge about BF'ing, it's really quite sad. As a country we are just re-gaining some of this knowledge. Baby's are MADE to 'starve' when they are born. All of them (formula or BF) will end up dehydrated to some degree right after birth, that is NORMAL. So to spew these falsehoods to a mama who wants to BF is shameful. She will not starve her baby, she will not dehydrate her baby, the baby WILL get enough iron from breastmilk (interesting side note - yes, formula has more iron in it than breastmilk. But that's because it HAS to, the iron in breastmilk is SO easily digested that the baby simply does not need more, even if it's jaundiced. That's why formula fed babies can end up so constipated - there's simply so much iron that cannot be digested). It's the lies that Nestle spewed forth into the media I have a problem with, not formula itself.
3: To tell a mama who is struggling with BF'ing that "I'm not judging you - I simply don't understand why you are trying so hard. Why? No really, explain to me, Why?" in a tone that clearly implies that you have formed an opinion on said mama and you aren't really looking for an answer/response. Seriously. Why go there? To make the mama feel bad? A BF'ing (or formal feeding) mama is not required to explain or defend her decision at all, ever, to anyone at anytime. So inappropriate and condescending.
4: Please, if a mama is trying to BF, be supportive. Don't be condescending, rude. Don't imply what she's doing is wrong in any way shape or form. It's not your decision. You have zero say in the matter.
I have a friend who's extended family called CPS on her because of her decision to do extended BF'ing (basically continue to BF until the child weans themselves past one year). They told CPS that she was starving her baby and that he was very ill (he wasn't and still isn't ill, he had a head cold over christmas but that's it). I can't begin to explain how horribly wrong it was to do that to this (or any) mother. Unfortunately this is not the only time I've heard stories like this. The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends exclusively BF'ing for at least 6 months, that means no solids until 6 mo's or ideally later. They then go on to say that going to two years is optimal. From the WHO website:
Over the past decades, evidence for the health advantages of breastfeeding and recommendations for practice have continued to increase. WHO can now say with full confidence that breastfeeding reduces child mortality and has health benefits that extend into adulthood. On a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life is the recommended way of feeding infants, followed by continued breastfeeding with appropriate complementary foods for up to two years or beyond.
5: In most states it is illegal to discriminate against a BF'ing mama. Public AND private property. Please do not make a BF'ing mama feel shameful for feeding her child. Do NOT suggest she go use a public restroom to feed her child. How would you like to go eat your lunch in a public restroom? If you see somebody harassing a nursing mom please step up and defend her by shoo'ing them away from the nursing mom.
6: Don't ask her why she's crying! Ask her if there's anything she needs instead. She's going through some major life and body changes, her hormones are all wacky. It's normal to cry.
I know - I'm preaching to the choir here. But I just had to get this stuff off my chest.
Some more pictures of my little man
Here are some of my favorite pictures of Henry, sorry if some of them I've already posted previously.
He was so tiny when he was born
Mom comforting Henry between attempts at breastfeeding
Another shot of me wearing Henry... I'm a little addicted to baby wearing :-)
I love this shot of mom & Henry
Same with this shot - I love this pic of Kenzie (my sister) and Henry. He's looking at her like "who are you???"
Love this picture of Kenzie - she got this hat for her birthday shortly after Henry was born and had some fun modelling it.
Uncle Dan & Henry
Cousin Nate & Henry
Dad, Anna & Henry
Gramma Lou & Henry at Thanksgiving
Dad & Henry at Thanksgiving
Jay & Henry all snuggle up
One of my all time favorites of Henry & Jay
Dad & Henry (newborn)
Playing xBox
our family
Henry is the king of lounging. He takes after his dad in that respect
Picking zuchini
Love this picture
Ahh... I miss the summer, the nice warm air...
I think this one is hilarious - Henry in his napcap with the nap flap folded up he looks like the pope!
I'm mad Dad!
Boy's got my cheeks!
With Gramma Peggy
With Grandpa Mark
Dad & Henry
Another of my all time favorite pictures
With Auntie Amy
My balding boy
My cowboy
alseep on Dad
My goofballs
Another picture of me and my obsession - wrapping :-)
Isn't he just too cute?
Yes, another pic of me wearing him in yet another wrap lol
In my favorite cloth diaper (Lil Pooligan)
With Uncle Jack
Snuggling momma early in the morning
Grandpa Rick and Aunty/Cousin Lauren
My first Christmas
With aunty Lauren
My favorite Christmas outfit (yes, another lil pooligan diaper - my other obsession lol)
Another fun 'butt fluff' shot
With Selena in the banana costume she brought him
Grandma Donna, Henry & Shepherd (cat)
Yup, I'm in my lil pooligan again lol. I love this shot - even though it's out of focus - shows off his drool
I'm so happy. Dressed up as an architect - just like daddy!
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