There are still a lot of people who think that breastfeeding is 'gross', some go so far to call it sexual abuse (yes - there are people who call CPS for the sole purpose b/c you are breastfeeding and they think it's wrong). Or people who think it is selfish for the mom to 'hog' all that time bonding with the baby and that others should get a chance to feed him.
So I'm going to discuss a little bit of this. I know with the group of people I'm sending this to that I'm mostly preaching to the choir. But I need to get some of this off my chest. Some of what I'm talking about I've experienced first hand, some is what I've heard from my friends and their experiences.
Disclaimer: I have nothing against formula feeding - I just want to make that very clear. Each parent needs to make the decision on what is best for them and their baby. I chose to try to breastfeed. But without formula (when my son was loosing too much weight) Henry would be dead. So I am a fan of formula - it is there for a reason, and is a good substitute for breastmilk.
1: Breastfeeding (abbreviated from now on as BF'ing) is not gross, disgusting, shameful, embarrassing or 'wrong'. It is natural, the way god and nature intended. It is what is best for any baby, it has more nutrients than formula. In fact, not all the 'ingredients' of breast milk have even been discovered yet!!! There are THAT many good things in it. It is more easily digested than formula, and easier on the baby's sensitive and still open/maturing gut. To try to make a BF'ing mama feel bad about her decision is wrong. Same as it is wrong to guilt a formula feeding mama about her decision to formula feed. It is the parents decision and nobody elses. A mama is NOT hogging her baby if she is trying to BF.
2: Nestle is evil for their attack on BF'ing. They put so so SO many lies out during their campaign in order to gain sales that as a country we lost so much knowledge about BF'ing, it's really quite sad. As a country we are just re-gaining some of this knowledge. Baby's are MADE to 'starve' when they are born. All of them (formula or BF) will end up dehydrated to some degree right after birth, that is NORMAL. So to spew these falsehoods to a mama who wants to BF is shameful. She will not starve her baby, she will not dehydrate her baby, the baby WILL get enough iron from breastmilk (interesting side note - yes, formula has more iron in it than breastmilk. But that's because it HAS to, the iron in breastmilk is SO easily digested that the baby simply does not need more, even if it's jaundiced. That's why formula fed babies can end up so constipated - there's simply so much iron that cannot be digested). It's the lies that Nestle spewed forth into the media I have a problem with, not formula itself.
3: To tell a mama who is struggling with BF'ing that "I'm not judging you - I simply don't understand why you are trying so hard. Why? No really, explain to me, Why?" in a tone that clearly implies that you have formed an opinion on said mama and you aren't really looking for an answer/response. Seriously. Why go there? To make the mama feel bad? A BF'ing (or formal feeding) mama is not required to explain or defend her decision at all, ever, to anyone at anytime. So inappropriate and condescending.
4: Please, if a mama is trying to BF, be supportive. Don't be condescending, rude. Don't imply what she's doing is wrong in any way shape or form. It's not your decision. You have zero say in the matter.
I have a friend who's extended family called CPS on her because of her decision to do extended BF'ing (basically continue to BF until the child weans themselves past one year). They told CPS that she was starving her baby and that he was very ill (he wasn't and still isn't ill, he had a head cold over christmas but that's it). I can't begin to explain how horribly wrong it was to do that to this (or any) mother. Unfortunately this is not the only time I've heard stories like this. The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends exclusively BF'ing for at least 6 months, that means no solids until 6 mo's or ideally later. They then go on to say that going to two years is optimal. From the WHO website:
Over the past decades, evidence for the health advantages of breastfeeding and recommendations for practice have continued to increase. WHO can now say with full confidence that breastfeeding reduces child mortality and has health benefits that extend into adulthood. On a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life is the recommended way of feeding infants, followed by continued breastfeeding with appropriate complementary foods for up to two years or beyond.
5: In most states it is illegal to discriminate against a BF'ing mama. Public AND private property. Please do not make a BF'ing mama feel shameful for feeding her child. Do NOT suggest she go use a public restroom to feed her child. How would you like to go eat your lunch in a public restroom? If you see somebody harassing a nursing mom please step up and defend her by shoo'ing them away from the nursing mom.
6: Don't ask her why she's crying! Ask her if there's anything she needs instead. She's going through some major life and body changes, her hormones are all wacky. It's normal to cry.
I know - I'm preaching to the choir here. But I just had to get this stuff off my chest.
